You might find her there.....
http://bobbieant.wordpress.com/

I've been bouncing back and forth between blogs.. yes.. I should just keep one.. but I don't want to give this one up since I had it since the start of lydia's pregnancy and I like the other one because sometimes I just need a private post now and then and that blog allows me that feature!!!


Lydia will soon be entering month 7 of her life.. How amazing time goes by so fast and even more amazing is how little girl is doing. In the beginning when she was born and didn't want to move her arm I was really scared it would be a permanant thing.. and to watch her now grab ANYTHING in site.. and use it all the time (even to hold her bottle) just warms my heart.
She is sitting up.. refuses to do it for long periods of time but she can do it... We went an had a weekend to ourselves this weekend and left the kids with my mom and when I got back I was holding her and she took her little hands and held my cheeks and gave me a BIG open mouth kiss... it's rare she gives them and it just made me melt.. I love that baby girl...
She's been a bit more cheerful.. talkative and entertaining with her siblings too. I think they are enjoying her now being bigger and that she can interact with them better.

The bigger ones are well.. Their summer has felt long.. it's been very uneventful and it rained a good chunk of it.. I'm starting to stitch together all the things they needed for school. That's always a project. What is not helpful is not having a list for the older one. Must be when you get into 7th grade they can't get you a warning about supplies until school starts... oh the joys of the highschool building..

I can not believe it's the middle of August already.. where does the time go???

It's been a while since I touched this...
We've had a bit of stuff going on. What started as a small remodel to change part of our enclosed porch into a bedroom for the baby turned into a huge project of rotted wood that needed to be taken out.. new walls.. new floor.. oh new everything. It's been a very stressful thing around here. Still not completed but at least little girl will have a room done in the next month and she will be out of her pack n play in our living room which has been where she sleeps.. I can't wait for her to have her very own room. We chose this route instead of putting her upstairs with the older kids because we didn't want their life disrupted with having a baby upstairs..

Lyddie Bug is doing so well. The pediatrician said her arm looks recovered. We are suppose to take her back to Childrens but we might cancel. We agree with our pediatrician.. She's grasping and pulling things to her mouth. She can support her weight on it now. Plus there is no favortism like there was when she was born and couldn't use that arm. Things have gone well with her recovery. Now if we could get this teething down pat.. and her stomach to cooperate where she's not constipated alot..

She weighed 15 pounds at 4 months.. and has been growing so much. Lately we put her in the jumperoo and Dh will put on his music and she will bounce to the beat of the music.. her favorite song is Brick house..lol..  We've had so much fun watching her enjoy the music. We are still trying to get a good video of this to share with friends and family

My oldest who is in the highschool building is now out of school Summer vacation officially started today for him.. it was rather nice having him around today. The other two will be out a week from Thursday...  Summer... I love it!

The business has started right up.. a little earlier than normal. I really hope this is what is to come for us. We could use the break and the money. I've got 3 clients to get done right now and have been trying to learn juggling working at home with the little one.

There's been a bit of family drama too but I don't want to touch too much on that on this... I'll just leave it to I wish we could speak our minds and didn't walk on egg shells sometimes. I wish too that some people had to work for things they get but that will never happen either.. Meanwhile everything we do is an ordeal...

But I have to end this.. Life is good no matter what.. To me having a family and love is all that matters!

My little girl.. you are truly amazing..

Everyday I look at you and I am in awe of the perfect little one that I was blessed with..

You were wanted for so long.. you had a hard time coming into this world.. and every day you truly amaze me..

You are now rolling over.. every time I put you down at night you wake me up and you are either opposite of the way I put you to bed or facing a totally different direction..

Your smile melts my heart every morning.. and you always wake up in such a good mood..
You sleep from 10-3 and then we get up for a bottle and you sleep again until 6.
You love your baths and I believe you try to splash me when I've giving you a bath.. The one day you did get me it followed with a little giggle from you..
You love your blankie... and your toy kitty.. and swinging in your swing outside..
You loudly say mmmmmmm now.. when you want something..

I can seeing your growing in so many ways everyday.. it excites me to see your personality coming through.. to see you light up when you see me..

Little girl.. you were a prayer answered.. sent from above.. and I love you and you amaze me everyday..

That's all I could think of for this title...

I'm still amazed every day that I look at this little girl that she's here... I wanted her for so long.. and now she's real.

She's completed this family. I have 4 beautiful, wonderful children that teach me new things everyday. I can not imagine my life without any of my children.

My first son- he taught me so much about life.. taught me to grow up in many ways and taught me responsibility. He also taught me to laugh and enjoy the little things.. I would not be the same person today without him touching my life and bringing me that joy of childhood back to me.. Making me remember that sometimes you just have to live in the moment and enjoy lifes little things.

My second son taught me compassion.. patience and to love more than I could possibly imagine I could. He's touched my life with how much he loves others and cares and he too has taught me so much.He loves unconditionaly and always puts others ahead of himself and feels so much compasion for others. I've learned so much through him.. his unconditional love truly touches  my own heart and reminds me every day to remember to try to do for others..

My first daughter.. so sweet and loving.. She's the one that curls up with you when you've had a rough day.. and tells you so many times that she loves you.. Her life has brought me peace and love.. Without her I don't think I'd be the same person I am today. She's so full of love and life that it's a joy watching her grow and discover the person she's becoming.. I've grown so much with her.. and now find myself remembering the things my mom used to tell me in order to sooth her and lead her on in her life.. She's an amazing little girl who I know will become an amazing woman someday..

Then the little one.. wow.. the strength this little girl has. From day one this little girl has been strong and determined.. I thought I was going to lose her early on in my pregnancy.. she held on though..  Even with a very traumatic birth... this little girl stayed strong and determined..  Everyday I watch her overcoming obstacles that she at this age shouldn't have had to deal with and it reminds me that her strength and determination is something that I too need to have.. She's an amazing little girl that doesn't let anything keep her down.. She'll be 11 wks this week but has overcome so much in the short amount of time on this earth.

Each one of my children have been blessings.. I thank god everyday for him letting me be their mom. Everyday I am amazed when I look at each one of them to see the people that they are growing into. It goes by so fast and I'm trying to enjoy every minute of it. I know one day they will be coming home to visit me with their own little ones and that one day really isn't that far away.. it's only a blink of the eye.. and they will be grown up and gone.. So I'm thankful everyday for the time I'm given with them.. and I hope someday they get to enjoy all the love and happiness I've had with them with their own kids..

Things got so busy that I had to put this up for a bit.. I got busy with work.. with preparing for the baby and with all the holidays that there just wasn't the spare time to continue the blog.. I wish I had kept it up so I could write about all the little things toward the end..

Just like such things as the hiccups... Dear little little Lydie  had the hiccups constantly- I'd laugh every night it was like clockwork her having a major case of them in utero...

Feeling her last movements... kicks and jabs.. some were painful toward the end.. but I loved talking to my "baby girl" as I'd call her every time she'd kick me to remind me she was still there...

I remember daddy rubbing my belly the night before I went into the hospital.. and actually rubbing what we thought was her butt and him singing to her "I love big butts" and her kicking him... WE still laugh at that now.. And his voice was the first one I think she recognized after birth too..

The end of the pregnancy was very trying.. and the delivery was even more trying.. but in the end I have a beautiful 10 wk old little girl in my house who has added a new outlook for our whole family. All the kids have enjoyed her and Vince and I- a little rusty at this but have enjoyed every minute (ok almost every minute.. maybe not the ones where she's been crying) of her life.. I am so grateful for this little life that was given to us and even though things could have turned for the worse during her delivery I'm so thankful that we were being watched over and our little Lydie bug is ok and thriving.. She's truly a blessing for our family

Yes... I've got the blogging bug again.. I was going to start over and do a new blog and then I decided no.. I'd get this one back up and going instead of deleting it like I have my past blogs...

I'm still pregnant....

25 weeks today.. I am past the 1/2 way mark and ready for the end of the road already... The first part seemed to go fast even with being sick and having so many issues..

We know the gender of the baby.. or at least 2 ultrasounds and 2 different techs are 90% sure of what the baby is... I'm hoping they are correct since it will look funny dressing a baby in the wrong color scheme if they are wrong..

I've been very stressed.. been through a cold, stomach bug.. and have had many ups and downs since the last post.. I can't wait until the stress is relieved but I'm afraid that will have to wait until December to ease...

Last doctors appointment my blood pressure was up and I do think that was due to circumstances in our life currently. We've been under alot of stress and too much going on right now.. then had a couple things added in that added more stress... I hope by next appointment it goes down.. I've also lost weight but I think that's do to having a cold and then the stomach bug the very next week...

I worry still about the baby.. It was from being super active to slowing down alot.. I hope that the baby is just getting bigger and not moving as much and all will be fine...

That's about all for an update.. not much of one I know.. I am sorry... hopefully I can at least update once a month.. and maybe after my next few hurdles next months update will be a cheerful one..

We ran into a snag with our insurance.. and my miracle medicine... I had to start rationing my medicine so that I could have it in the morning to make sure I could stretch out what I had as long as possible.. so it made for some rough days.. After DH going around and around with the insurance company... the doctors office.. and then the pharmacy.. I should now be able to have my script like I am suppose too and should be back on the feeling good soon wagon...  This medicine has been the key for me being normal and not ending up in the ER so if at all possible I hope to stay on it until I hope I no longer need it...

In sad news.. we had to put one of our dear dogs down last week. It's been very hard on our family. My father passed away in December 05 and we ended up with his dog Moby.. He was the last connection we had with my dad/ and the kids grandpa.. We didn't know he was sick and what the vet told us that when it shows up it's usually too late (he had a bad cancer and when the growth shows its usually too late to save them) So we made the hard decision at 1 am at the emergency vets a week ago today to put him down.. all 5 of us standing with him crying while he slipped away.. I hated for my kids to have to say goodbye to him and I know DH and I had a hard time saying goodbye.. I feel so horrible that the dog was hurting and we didn't even know it.. we just chalked it up to him being old and having arthritus like our other dog.. He is missed...

One more week until the ultrasound.. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't impatient and excited at once.. yes I'd like to know what the peanut is.. but just seeing it and making sure it's ok will make me feel a world better..

The insurance we have to deal with is awful.. I really dislike that DH's company switched over to this company for health care.. I have paid in 600 just in medical costs.. from lab work.. to trips to the ER.. to an ultrasound to date the pregnancy.. I'm a little nervous to know what the delivery will cost us... I'm grateful we have a flexible spending account taken out of DH's check each pay period to cover some of the expenses.. but I know I've only got 300 left in there.. so that worries me until the end of the year.. then we start our deductables all over again and this time with a delivery and a newborn in the new year to come.. so this will definately be interesting to say the least..

I hope to have more updates on this blog.. for now bare with me while I try to get things moving along.. I hope to be feeling better soon and be more upbeat about the upcoming months...

I got an inclination of what's to come the other day and I'm excited... I've felt the baby move a bit already.. but it hasnt' been that noticable. We were invited down to visit my family this weekend.. and it probably wasn't the best thing to do but I got to 4- wheel over the property I grew up on (beautiful farm my uncles still own)  I couldn't resist taking one trip (and one trip only) but afterward I was greeting with 3 little thumps... I had to laugh... I felt three little thumps when I got off like hey mom what do you think you're doing... It makes me look forward to feeling even more movements in the next few weeks/months.. My mom laughed because she used to go snowmobiling and do all sorts of things when she was 8 months pregnant with me.. and I was nervous about one slow trip around the farm...

It's been a while since I've blogged..

I've spent alot of this summer sick... worse case of morning (all day) sickness for any of the kids. A few trips to the ER due to dehydration.. lots of blood work and Iv's... and now the last ER doctor allowed me to sample a different medication and since it seemed to be working my doctor now has me on it.. I'm hoping this is the answer to me making it through the pregnancy now with keeping up with the other 3 kids and keeping up with the business.. We just got hit with Seniors and Christmas season is around the corner so I need to be able to stay on top of my work too.. Before this medicine I couldn't do much of anything.. seemed like time stopped and I felt so horrible for the kids. I missed alot of their summer because I was constantly sick.. SO this is a welcome change to our life.. and I think the kids are happy to have me normal again...

Enough with the not so fun news...

So grateful for a husband that has spoke up and insisted on them allowing me to try something different.. and holding my hand with every episode..

I have an ULTRASOUND coming up!!! WOO HOOOO!!! all the males in the family want another little male.. and my daughter wants a little sister so badly... I'm ok with either a boy or a girl.. I just can't wait to see which it is.. and I'm hoping this little peanut doesn't follow suit with it's big brothers and lets me know what he/she is. Ultrasound scheduled Sept 8th!!!

I've felt the baby here or there.. little flutters.. and it's making me excited to feel more movement. Although I do remember toward the end with our daughter it felt like she was kick boxing and insisting that she needed more room at the end... so we'll see how this one goes. (the boys never really kicked me like she used to)

I've come to the final conclusion that this is the last one and this time around I feel at peace with it.. no more wondering.. doubting the decision like I did after our daughter.. This time around going into it I feel totally different and at peace with the idea this is our last child.. I even talked with the doctor about tying my tubes and how it's done and all the information I need to think about before we get to that point. I'm not going to make DH go through the big V again.. I think the man has done enough..lol..

I'm also excited for friends of ours.. they are due the same day with their 2nd... Her ultrasound is scheduled for the 10th of Sept. They are wonderful people and were made to be parents so I can't wait to see them with 2 little ones..

I've bought a couple things for the baby.. a couple blankets..onsies.. it's all looking real now I think..

Right now I'm 16 wks 2 days by the last ultrasounds calculations... I'll feel better when we get to the 20's for weeks...

The kids are going with friends of theirs/ours today... This afternoon they invited them to the local theme park with their three kids... so I've got the afternoon to get my work done that I need to get done.. I always worry about them when they are gone but I know they are going to have fun and are in good hands..

I have a girls name.. but we can't find a boys name yet.... and I've only got one name I really like for a girl.. so we shall see how things goes..lol.. naming our children has always been hard for us...

I think that's the update for now.. I'll try to update more often and I still need to get those zoo pics up...

Yesterday I got a glimpse of how things will be after February and it warmed my heart...

As sick as I had been this week first with the morning sickness that lasted 13 hours on Thursday. Then Friday with waking up with a massive head cold. I was determined not to let the last couple days or even the lingering cold hold me back from enjoying a day we had scheduled for weeks with our kids.

We got up Saturday morning and I held my breath.. I wasn't having any symptoms of the morning sickness... the only thing left I was dealing with was this cold.. that to me was minor.. I was going no matter what I had decided the night before.. so off we went.

We met my dh's co-worker from work and her family.. We get along really well with their family. She reminds me of a female version of my dh.. She has the same exact sense of humor and light heartedness that my husband does and her husband is just as nice. So the trip I knew would be really pleasant. They have two younger children 2 and 4 so we all figured it would be quite a trip to the zoo (will post pictures on flickr later today  http://www.flickr.com/photos/75728915@N00/)

My kids were very excited. They love animals of all kinds. We had taken them to the other zoo in another near by city a couple years ago.. but never had we gone to this zoo.. We got their and decided for an extra 27 dollars we'd spring for a membership.. We live an hour away from 2 zoo's and if we go once more we get our moneys worth and then some so it would pay off for itself in the long run.. (The membership works for both of the zoo's ) Dh just got his first check with his raise and we thought that was a good use for the extra money this check we hadn't planned on... score one for us from the kids.. they loved the idea.

We met up with Dh's co-worker and family... went through the zoo and all of us had a blast. I believe though it wasn't the animals.. or all the exhibits that made my day... no... it was seeing my almost 10 year old and my 11 year old each holding a hand of the little 2 yr old boys hands that made my day.. two big brothers in the making one on each side of this little guy enjoying walking.. talking.. and showing him things.. It just warmed my heart. I have been so worried that they would be upset with this new addition that they wouldn't enjoy having a small siblings.. worried that maybe we shouldn't have done this with such age gaps.. yesterday though warmed my heart... They loved the little guy and they enjoyed every minute of him. My daughter too was just as good... my grown up little 7 year old was holding hands and keeping track of the little girl.. and doing just as an amazing job as her brothers.. They weren't asked to do any of this either... it was something they all three wanted to do... I was just amazed.. I know my kids have good hearts and are very loving and kind... I guess seeing them interact with little ones just amazed me even more at the people they are becoming... With that my heart melted and it made me feel so much better about our decision to add just one more. I'm not as worried now. I think our 3 older children will handle it with stride.

Before we left we bought a stuffed elephant.. stuffed polar bear and stuffed monkey.. yes.. I do believe my kids all deserved the treat... I said what do you want in the gift shop and they all presented these cute little critters... so I indulged them... (and that membership is an awesome thing to have.. saved us an extra 15% on the little stuffed friends too.. my middle child said oh mom this is cool does this mean we can have something every time we go to the zoo since it's free to get in now.. yes.. my little thinker... I love how he's always thinking ahead...lol)

I knew when we started down this path that it was going to be a long road ahead of us... through saving money... making the date.. getting the procedure down... to waiting to see if it worked.. and waiting... and then the outcome either way we'd finally find out... I knew that path would be ongoing... and would seem to drag on...

I guess I never thought about how long of a road this next stage will be for me. I never in a million years would have guessed that the nightmare of pregnancy would return back to me in full force... yes... I know I'm complaining a bit.. trust me... I'm still very grateful... Just after having 2 mild pregnancies I had forgotten how the first one had been until now with the last pregnancy... The over whelming sickness.. the crippling of my every day life... I'm not quite as bad as I was with my son.. but I do think being 11 years older has made a big difference and it's almost leveled it out to being as miserable..

I honestly wish I was one of those woman that enjoyed being pregnant.. that didn't get sick.. and could spend the whole 40 wks enjoying every bit of the time until the new arrival came. I am one of those ones that waits.. watches each week go by in the idea of one more week closer to the end... a week closer to the final reward... that is how I make it through being pregnant. I will admit though when it comes time to feeling that little peanut some of my issues will melt away and that's honestly when I start to bond.. until then it just feels like the flu every day of my life..

I was finally given some medicine.. that does take a bit of the sickness away.. but it does still leave me with that little bit of feeling in the bit of my stomach that still makes me remember I do not feel so well.. After last week though this is a HUGE step up from how I was doing.. where I felt one step above death... I have to admit having a bit of the sickness is better than having all the sickness.. I just need to learn to cope with the new routines.. new eating habits and new medicine...

I went almost to being a vegetarian after getting pregnant... no it wasn't done on purpose.. it's hard to eat any sort of meat when it doesn't taste good to you. I'm just getting so I can eat chicken again now... I was living on dry cereal.. crackers and toast for so long I forgot how to eat real food.

 Yesterday I boiled some chicken up.. added some extra broth and made my grandma's noodle recipe and the kids and I had homemade soup last night for supper (Hubby had left over potato salad baked beans from his grandma's and chicken)... I think I can honestly say it's the most food I've eaten in weeks.. and it was far the best I've had in so long.. Long gone are enjoying dairy products.. tomatoes products... and my beloved pizza... they are no longer in the menu for me... Those foods make me sick no matter what I do.. so they've been wiped from the daily food options and are patiently waiting until mid winter when I can once again indulge in the simple pleasure of a slice of pizza.. spaghetti... or cheese, icecream or milk....

Yes.. this was a bit of a whiny post.. please do forgive me and understand... It's been a long last 6 wks since this all kicked in and I'm really hoping for a reprieve now that the 2nd trimester is starting (as of yesterday) So here's hoping to a better 2nd and 3rd trimester since the first one went out with a bang....